Apple Door Hates Biological Clocks too

// December 5th, 2006

Boyf asked me yesterday what’s bugging me since I look so contemplative yesterday. Can you imagine a face with a contemplative aura? I can’t. Back to boyf’s asking, I told him that if I tell him what I’m thinking about, it will cause trouble. It made him more curious of course. But I just made him shut up by showing him my ever-about-to-go-ballistic-almost-like-Miriam-Defensor-flunking-the-supreme-court-chiefness look. Watched the news about Miriam, yesterday?

What conjured the contemplative face is my thoughts on my ticking biological clock. Why do women have to have it? Why can’t we bear kids safely even at the age of 65? Why do we get all scraggy and wrinkled down so fast?

I’m just 24. But I’m a pessimist. Can you see the relevance?

So why will such biological clock yada’s bring trouble if I tell my guy about it? It will make me look needy, which is what I’ve always tried to avoid. Have you ever felt something like this? Do you feel pressured but you know you can’t just tell your boyfriend anything that will pressure him to marry you?

I don’t want to just get married just because this stupid imaginary clock tells me so. But right now I don’t know how to make this emotion go away.